Behind the curtain
by actionhero1
Summary: Jasper devoured my faith, He stole my devotion, Tethered my mind, He deprived me of my soul, And still I saught absolution in him
1. Chapter 1

My general input into the family discussions were considerably stunted and if I wanted to be honest with myself, nonexistent. So I was ushered into my comfort zone of simply observing without much prompt.

I was beginning to recognize that currency in the vampire world was exchanged in favors and knowledge. Not much else held value when you watched the world through the eyes of a god.

Cold, Detached, and unyielding.

The Cullens claimed themselves a family, bound together in their values and mutual familial love for one another. Yet something always seemed strained in the family dynamic. Something in their currency exchange rate wasn't adding up.

Carlisle was the head authority figure, his word absolute. Esme his wife and mate, silently providing quiet strength by his side. His children would follow and together they would be a strong united front, seeking solstice in each other in the never ending centuries that flowed out in front of them.

That was what they **_tried_** to portray, yet it fell short whenever you looked just under the surface.

When I peeked behind the curtains, I saw too many voices clamoring for the reigns. Trying to lead the family in a direction they felt would suit them best.

Alice's voice was heard most often, she was right up there with Carlisle, followed closely by Edward.

I had often wondered what weight was attached to Alice's and Edward's voice that the rest of the family lacked, Rosalie was outspoken and had enough venom in her voice to make a grown man cry, yet her two cents where generally ignored, even when she made a valid point.

I supposed after a while, that it was simply that Alice and Edward had an unfair advantage. Alice knew what you were going to do even before you, yourself knew, and Edward could fish around in the most private place a person had, stealing secrets, finding fears, and gleaning motives.

If knowledge was a commodity that allowed you power, whether that be, to get a leg up on those that meant you harm or simply to make life easier, then Alice and Edward were the spoiled rich children who were born with silver spoons in their mouth and felt entitled to everything.

They would basically run the show if it were up to them, only being tempered by Carlisle's aged tested wisdom and copious amount of patience.

I wanted to know why Carlisle allowed them such power, He didn't seem to take much weight of the others opinion's, maybe that's why Rosalie and Emmett were absent more often than not. It would certainly explain her frosty personality. Daddy dearest didn't pay attention to little miss princess.

Esme had always struck me as the strong silent type, yet as with everything in the Cullen family, something didn't feel right. There was more to Esme's quietness, in fact it seemed forced. There was a profound sense resignation, and strong disapproval wrapped up in a blanket of helplessness that floated around her. I believed she was here out of loyalty and commitment to Carlisle than anything else.

Emmett was much like Esme, pleasant yet distant. Again it seemed like he was only here for Rosalie, all the while quietly radiating disapproval. Why Rosalie stayed I wasn't quite sure, she didn't seem very happy with the status quo of the family.

Or anything for that matter.

I hadn't noticed all the inconsistencies in the family at first, when Edward had revealed himself and introduced me to his family I was swept up in the new and bright possibilities, a family full of love, welcoming me with wide arms and beautiful smiles. I was left dazed and breathless, as Edward whispered sweet promises into my ear and showed me a world that I desperately wanted to be mine.

Timeless love and a flawless family. Who could ever want more?

It wasn't till the great city of Seattle began misplacing its residents at an alarming rate that I had finally sat up and taken notice

Mostly because this caused one of the most elusive Cullen to stay for more than just a few hours a week, the family in general had always seemed to have ants in their pants for one reason or another. They seemed to be in constant motion, no one staying for long. Someone was always out, sometimes lasting weeks or just hours. Yet they all had an established place here in Cullen household dynamic.

The leader, the mother figure, the beauty, the brawn, the prodigal son, and the oracle

Jasper was the only one that never really fit in their bizarre dynamic. He had no place here other than the absent sibling and even when he was here, he stood out like a whore in a nunnery. Where the rest of them had perfected the art of pretending to be human, shifting, blinking, breathing, and smiling oh so charmingly. Jasper stood tall, motionless, every part of him made you step back and acknowledge that, yes he was a predator and yes you could be his next meal. He did nothing to hide what he was and that interested me.

While I watched him from under my lashes he seemed more or less ambivalent to my presence. Sometimes he watched me with a calculating look on his face, others he snarled in my direction and stalked out of the house as soon as I arrived.

Today he stood motionless in a corner as the family debated a course of action regarding the steadily rising body count in Seattle. Nothing much was different. Esme, Emmett, and Rosalie stood for the most part quietly, looking to Carlisle, Alice, and Edward the established entities of power for a decision. Alice spoke of dark tidings, ominous forecasts of the future, Edward urged precaution. While Carlisle sat at the head of the table, his face grave as he deliberated.

Yet something arose out of the mist of peculiarity.

Their eyes flickered over to Jasper as they weighed every viable option, talking over merits and disadvantages. But making no solid course of action, something in this particular situation made Alice quieter, and Edward tentative. Carlisle while positioned in the role of decision maker was tense, waiting for a shoe to drop that I couldn't see.

And dear-me-oh-my, did my knees almost buckle from shock when the shoe dropped. From a dark corner of obscurity his voice slithered out, laced lightly with a southern panty dropping drawl, in a shiver inducing low-pitched timber.

I had never heard his voice before, He only ever stayed for a short time when he visited, gone by the time I arrived or locked in the study with Alice and Carlisle.

My interactions with him were limited to my subtle watching of his comings and goings; he seemed to take extra care to avoid me or watch from afar.

Today was different though; he had stepped into the spotlight on his own, temporary filling the role of the stern, absolute leader. Something that Carlisle portrayed well but rarely fulfilled.

He spoke concisely and without much inflection, "We leave in three days".

There was a tense silence, where I was sure someone would object but even Rosalie, the empress of everything bitchy, did nothing but scowl at the floor.

Until Edward opened his mouth, "What about Bella?" he demanded.

I flushed under the immediate scrutiny of several vampires, oh yes; _of course_ the silly useless human had to have a proper babysitter. He glared at Alice, "I won't leave her unpro-"

Jasper cut him off, "She'll stay here." His expression flat, booking no argument.

"We'll strike quickly, quietly," His expression sharpening as he looked over to Edward, a sneer in his voice, "and _thoroughly_."

A tense silence echoed over the family.

Until Esme released a long suffering sigh and disappeared through the backdoor in the kitchen, unofficially adjourning the meeting. I caught the tail end of a painful grimace twist across Carlisle's face before he smoothed out his expression, nodded meaningfully at Jasper and retreated to his study.

Edward hissed something at Alice before turning and scooping me up into his arms, "Let's get you home, it's late." He muttered, his expression pinched.

I watch Jasper as Edward carried me out, he stared out the kitchen window in the direction Esme had taken off, expressionless.

Alice glided over to him, her arm lifting to settle comfortingly on his shoulder, his hand shot out faster than I could see. Catching her wrist in a bruising grip, he shook his head, his face carved and severe before disappearing into Carlisle study.

Edward depositing me through my window as Charlie slept soundly in the other room. He gave me a brisk kiss on the forehead, before whispering he would be back later and disappeared into the rapidly approaching dawn.

I stared at the cresting colors of the new day, burning with need to rip back the curtains and find the man behind the wizard's voice. The one that controlled the levers and dials.

I had a feeling that man was no one, other than Jasper.


	2. Chapter 2

I should have been extremely content; Edward lay on my bed next to me, our fingers intertwined, as he hummed my lullaby. But my head was spinning, chasing after the low voice of Jasper that teased with promises of muffled secrets and daring ploys.

Jasper had become a secret indulgence for me, much like my favorite mint chocolate chip ice cream, deep rich chocolate with a minty zing that left my mouth buzzing for more. Edward was tasting more and more like a forgotten tub of vanilla ice cream in the freezer, grainy and devoid of any flavor.

Curiosity nipped at my heels; I had replayed Jasper's brief orders continuously in my head. Where did his sudden unquestionable authority and leadership come from? Alice was not one to have her lime light taken way easily; she reveled in the Cullen's dependency on her gift.

The exchange between Jasper and Edward wasn't lost on me that night either. Whatever was happening in Seattle, Jasper was certain that Edward was in some way to blame.

I tried my hand at playing the sexy junior detective that got men singing like canaries and failed miserably. My attempt to seduce the information I wanted out of Edward were shut down faster than I could say chastity belt. And I was pretty sure he owned one of those for every day of the damn week. I wasn't asking for much, just a little more than the hand holding and quick peck on the lips.

Every time I pushed for more he shook his head, exasperated. "It's too dangerous Bella." I was beginning to feel like an over glorified perfume bottle, nice to sniff at, but not to be touched. We wouldn't want to break the tasty little human.

* * *

It was one in the morning, as I watched the Cullen's prepare to leave for Seattle. There was an angry buzzing in the air, which meant they were arguing but low and fast enough so I wouldn't understand. They did that when they didn't want me to know what it was about and couldn't argue about it after I left.

Alice and Edward seemed seconds away from tearing each other's throats out. Judging by Edward's furious reaction it was probably about the lack of babysitting arrangements for me. Rosalie was vehemently pushing for whatever Alice's bright idea was. While Edward snarled indistinctly at them, Carlisle murmured soothingly try to placate the situation, but he seemed hesitant to argue for any side.

As always Esme and Emmett stood apart from the fight, keeping their neutral disposition as they usually did. They did this often, always hovering on the fringes, a bit removed from the rest of the family drama.

We were missing one person, Jasper had yet to arrive. Good for him since the family was still squabbling like children.

I felt hollow as I watched them bicker, a toy for some rambunctious children, Alice dictated my schedule, Edward treated me like priceless porcelain china at every turn, Rosalie looked at me like second-hand garage sale bought junk. I was worn-out. The only people who treated me with any semblance with humanity were Esme and Emmett; even then it was a distant politeness, like bumping into someone in the grocery store.

I hated it; I was disenchanted with the fairytale world I was living in. I felt like a scrooge, I got that Alice missed being human and wanted me to experience it to the fullest, I understood that Edward cared about my safety, I accepted Rosalie resented my decision to join the family, forsaking my chance to live out a human life.

But it hurt that I was a coward, too hesitant to speak up for myself.

Even so I stayed quite. Whispering to myself that it would get better once I was turned, Edward and I would finally be equal. Less worries if I was no longer so breakable and weak.

I was broken out of my silent pity party by the arrival of two new vampires and Jasper.

The new arrivals had red eyes, and seemed distinctly annoyed at having to be there. They stood at the edge of the Cullen's property tense and silent.

I didn't get much time to study them because with Jasper's arrival the argument was stalled but Alice looked positively smug, while Edward looked like he was trying to choke down sour milk.

"They'll go in my place, do what they say." He spoke, before turning toward Alice, "Make sure you keep an eye on them, the timing has to be perfect."

He began relaying orders but I was distracted as Edward ghosted over to me, looking highly unpleased with whatever was going on, "Bella there's been a change in plans," he griped, "Jasper's going to stay behind, don't worry you won't even know he's there."

I looked over to Jasper who was speaking to Carlisle and the new arrivals, this was odd. But I wasn't going to complain, he'd most likely ignore me while I went out of my mind with worry.

* * *

I sat at the kitchen table, the only part of the house I could claim as my domain. A plate of sliced pineapples sat to my left as I attempted to struggle through a calculus assignment. My mind drifting over the numbers only to be scared stupid as I realized there was a vampire standing over my shoulder, a squeak slipped through my lips as I tried to restart my heart.

Jasper stood motionless, looking down at my attempted answers, "Your self-preservation skills are abysmal for a human, I've been standing here for almost half an hour." He said sounding bored, "And all your answers are wrong."

"What are you doing here?"

Jasper shrugged, "playing don't kill the human"

A startled laugh passed through my lips, "glad to know you won"

A flicker of a shark like smile passed over his lips, "we're still playing"

My smile died on my lips. "I don't like this game Jasper, stop."

He threw an unimpressed look over to me before taking my calculus homework and writing the correct answers on it.

As he wrote, he spoke, "If I stopped playing then you would be sitting pretty in my belly"

I shifted uncomfortably, but he continued anyway, "We all play the game, even precious little Esme. And you're always on the verge of losing"

"They wouldn't hurt me," I objected

He scoffed.

Pushing my now completed homework toward me as he moved to leave.

"You're on the bonus round, times a'tickin and you're gonna lose. The only question is if you'll wake up after." He said, as he glided out of the kitchen.

Screw mint chocolate chip, the man was like toilet paper, bland and full of shit.

* * *

I wanted to say hi and ask how the story was going. I apprecaite the reviews, and appologize in advance because I know for sure this story is going to have sporadic updates.

over and out,

Actionhero1


	3. Chapter 3

I sat with my now completed Calculus homework and nothing else to occupy mind. Other than the fact that I now sat in a house, isolated from the town, with miles of undisturbed forest in every direction under the protection of vampire that regarded my life much like a passing thought, with vague indifference.

This would have never happened with Edward; he savagely guarded me from every perceived danger. So why had he left me with Jasper? He screamed danger from every angle.

I had met Edward at the tail end of junior year; my move to Forks had been a last minute decision. Phil, who been picked up by a team was moving to Florida. Indecision pulled at my mother. She could stay with me in Arizona, make us all move to Florida, or leave me here to finish up my schooling. I took the dilemma from her hands when I exiled myself to Forks.

Edward had captured my interest as he walked into the crowed cafeteria at school. He was something out of this world, disturbingly beautiful, and so very unapproachable.

Even more so when we sat next to each other in biology class, he had been tense, glaring at me with some unfathomable concentration. The class had dragged for what felt like eons, me hiding behind my hair, him straining in his seat.

He disappeared for a week after our strange encounter.

When he came back though, his personality did a three-sixty. He introduced himself and charmed me stupid.

I was in love him faster than I could say my own name, not even when he had revealed that he and his family were vampires could I be swayed. He had saved me from those men in Port Angles and from Tyler's van, he wouldn't hurt me. I was so sure of this.

Edward had professed his undying love to me, and I to him. We were set to finally be together for eternity after I graduated from Forks High School.

I knew my days were numbered, Jasper didn't need to remind me, I ticked off the days on my damn calendar. But the way he spoke about my death made me pause. I couldn't put my finger on it, the only way I could explain it was he spoke with a sort of callous amusement. Like watching a play when you know something the main character doesn't, waiting for the poor sap to meet his doom.

But I knew my future because I was certain of my place with the Cullen's. I would be Edward's mate, Carlisle and Esme's daughter, Alice's best friend, Rosalie and Emmett's sister.

What had no place in my life or distinguishable place in the Cullen's was Jasper. He was not a friend or a foe, nor a brother or a leader. A flimsy shadow that wafted in the corner of my eye.

But the facts pointed to something else entirely. He had a voice in the Cullen household and it was not challenged, He did not conform to their ways but was a member of the family. He played by his own rules and made his own music.

He was a weed in the garden.

A garden I was soon to blossom in, and I wanted to know why he was here.

* * *

Edward arrived past sundown, becoming wary as he looked down at me.

"Jasper said something didn't he; I knew it was a bad idea." He said glaring over at Alice.

I shook my head, giving him a weak smile, "Just worried about you." I rose up on my toes, giving him a quick kiss, "I'm glad you're back."

He smiled down at me, and pulled me into his arms. This was all I needed. My curiosity about Jasper could go stuff itself. Nothing I found would bring me more satisfaction then this.

Alice interrupted our moment, "Charlie's going call in five minutes, do you have your story straight Bella?"

I buried my head in Edward's chest, my shoulders slumping with fatigue. My nose twitching as I caught the subtle smell of incense. I hated lying to Charlie, but nothing could be done other than telling him the truth. And that was a conversation I wanted to avoid at all costs.

But that was what my life of as Cullen would be like, adhering to the human façade, hiding behind half-truths and systematic lies from the outside world. We could only be free to be ourselves with each other.

 _A family that connived together stayed together,_ I thought with some amusement.

"Bella," called Alice impatiently.

"We went to Port Angeles for some shopping, it was fun, and you were glad to have someone to spend time with since the rest of the family had gone camping. We spent the night watching movies and doing each other's hair."

Edward laughed at my dull tone.

Alice rolled her eyes, disappearing off into the kitchen to wait for Charlie's call.

I leaned my head back on Edward's chest, the strange smell tickling my nose once again. I took a deliberate sniff at his shirt; he stiffened and withdrew from the embrace. I looked up at his face. He was stiff and uncomfortable.

"What's that smell?"

He didn't answer.

Jasper glided into the quiet room without missing a beat, a pleasantly benign smile on his lips.

"A preview of your future."

Edward stepped forward, snarling at Jasper, the threat clear in his posture. Jasper flashed him a sarcastically polite smile, his eyes smoldering with a silent dare.

Edward backed off.

Alice flounced into the room, handing me a small phone as she passed me by. Her face passive but her eyes never left Jasper.

"I'll see you later Bella." She called as she grabbed Jasper and left through the front door.

I had looked at Edward, my eyes swimming with questions after they left but was sidetracked by Charlie's call. He was calling to see why I wasn't home yet.

The ride home wasn't very enlightening either; Edward opted to run there while I drove my truck.

* * *

Making small talk with Charlie was becoming tedious; I finally yawned enough times to get him to suggest I go up and sleep. I tried not to rush up the stairs like I wanted, forcing myself to drag my feet and mumble a goodnight halfway up the stairs.

Edward was waiting for me by the window, staring hard at my expression for something. When he realized whatever he was looking for wasn't there his face darkened and he glared down at floor.

It was good minute before he spoke, "Alice saw that Jasper would run into some demons from his past if he went with us to go solve the situation in Seattle, he was feeling a little sore about not being able to go, so he took it out on you."

He hesitated testing out his words before he spoke, "Jasper was turned in place not many of our kind survive, he was created to kill and destroy young vampires."

"It left him a bit unhinged," he explained softly, "The only way to kill one of our kind is to rip them apart and set the pieces on fire, The smell you asked about is from the smoke that lingers after a vampire is killed,"

"So Jasper wants to kill me," I asked slowly, "after I become like you?"

Edward huffed, "He was just in a snit, don't pay him any mind Bella."

I nodded absently; I still didn't make any sense to me. The way they reacted was not like what he said was a particularly mean joke.

More like a he said something he wasn't supposed to.

"You should go to bed love; I'll be here to pick you for school."

I gave him a tired smile, crawling into bed and trying to settle my thoughts.

* * *

Hey oh. its Actionhero. Just poping up to ask how its going. And explain that I know Bellas flipp flopping more than a fish out of water, buuutttt she seeing some things that are messing with her happy ever after and she's trying really hard to sweep them under the rug. or explain them.

Over and out,

Actionhero1


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter four

Edward and I sat at our table, removed from the rest of the cafeteria. Lunch was dragging by and I had a nagging suspicion I had forgot something important. I sat sipping on lemonade when Edward stiffened, turning to me he asked, "Did you forget something last night?"

I paused, shocked. Maybe he had finally been able to overcome whatever blocked him from my mind. This posed some problems, especially with my new found curiosity toward a certain blonde haired reprobate.

"Jaspers' here to deliver something to you." He paused, his head cocked toward the parking lot listening further, "Your calculus homework." He said sounding perplexed.

That made the two of us; Jasper wasn't the type to deliver forgotten homework. Or do anything for the sake of being 'nice'.

I stood up with the intent to retrieve my homework as quickly as possible, Edward hesitated but remained seated. His eyes locked with Alice who had appeared through the cafeteria doors like magic. He gave a tense sigh before looking up at me a small smile plastered on his face. "Alice reminded me that we need to hunt, so I'm having Jasper pick you up from school today."

I nodded haphazardly, my attention on the cafeteria windows that over looked the parking lot. There was Jasper leaning on Edward's silver Volvo, watching Alice with a small frown, a familiar purple folder in his hand.

"I'll walk you out." Edward said, wrapping his arm around waist, his eyes following my line of sight.

As we walked out Edward's frown of disapproval deepened, flicking Alice disgruntled looks as she casually followed us out. Her expression light and airy as she purposely ignored his heavy looks. I repressed a sigh, Alice and Edward were the only ones that had to follow the drama of pretending to be a high school student, Emmett and Rosalie had both graduated last year even if their attendance record had been appalling, Jasper hadn't even bothered to enroll since he was rarely here anyway. Until recently of course.

Jasper remained statuesque even as we neared him. Not even blinking when Edward issued a thinly veiled threat to behave himself. His only change was when Alice and Edward drove off leaving me with him and my purple homework folder.

"Alice says we should become friendly," he spoke after a long minute, his voice showing how much he agreed with her sentiment.

"Why?"

He stared at me, a grimace tugging at his lips. "Because apparently if we don't it'll cause problems after you're changed."

…..odd. But who was I to refute Alice's decision.

The bell rang before I could analyze the situation further, I held out my hand for my homework.

It took a few seconds before I registered what happened, he had grabbed my out stretched hand, pulling me into his arms before taking off into the forest surrounding the school.

My shock and confusion rendered me useless. He ran till we hit a decent sized waterfall that fell into a clear blue lake. We stood on the bank of the lake, my breathing erratic as I tried to settle my heart.

He was looking into the lake as though trying to gauge the depth of it, my temper flared at how easily this asshole jerked me around.

He questioned my value in the family, threatened to kill me, and showed no interest in my safety or regard for my feelings.

And still I was caught up in the bullshit act of mystery he pulled.

"What the fuck is wrong with you!" I yelled.

His head whipped over to me, his face expressionless.

"Why are you yelling?" he asked as he began to pull off his shirt.

My face grew hot but I stood my ground, "Stop taking off your clothes and explain why you took me here without my permission."

His hand paused at the button of his jeans; actually looking back he was the only Cullen that wore jeans. The rest wore designer pants. My attention was ripped back as a small chuckle echoed in my ear.

"Since when does anyone ask for your permission?" his head cocked to the side as he watched me, "Edward and the family dictate your life to what you wear and even what you eat."

"Why should I ask for your _permission,_ " he sneered, "when you let everyone walk over you."

I recoiled, because what could I say? He was right. I was a pushover. I was weak, nothing short of pathetic.

My face fell and he noticed, but he only shrugged at me, "Don't get mad at me for just following the precedent that **you** set."

I felt like crying, and I hated myself more because of it.

Jasper tugged down his jeans, and began toeing off his shoes. Leaving him with only a pair of boxers and socks on, I couldn't help but forget about my spiral of self-contempt as I watched him dive in with his socks on. I a laugh bubbled out of my throat; I gave him an incredulous look as he surfaced again, "You forgot to take off your socks."

He looked affronted at the suggestion, "No, I forgot to take off my boxers. I always keep my socks on." He explained, "I don't like it when the plants brush against my feet, gives me the heebie jeebies," he shuttered dramatically.

I laughed, I had yet to see this side of Jasper, and I knew I was in trouble because I really liked it.

"Why are we even here?" I asked.

Jasper seemed to ignore me as he gently floated on the lake; it was a while before he answered.

"I don't like the smell of the Cullen household; it's like walking into a perfume cloud that leaves a bad taste in your mouth."

I simply nodded, unsure of what I should do with that tidbit of information.

I didn't notice he had edged closer to my spot near the waterfall. I shrieked as he pulled me over his head and threw me into the lake.

"What was that for!" I yelled.

He swam over to where I was, "Stop yelling, you'll give a headache."

I silently fumed as he floated in lazy circles, "You smelled like them." he said quietly.

"Like false hope and bitter endings." He whispered before diving to the bottom and refusing to resurface till hours later.

The sun was setting, I was cold, tired, and sullen, but I stayed in the water because it felt like Jasper needed a friend. He looked world wearied before he sank down into the depths of the water.

Most days he was emotionless and taciturn others downright hostile.

But today I would give him this small amount of comfort, because Jasper seemed to only hide from his problems when they threatened to overwhelm him.

I on the other hand buried my head in the sand indefinitely.

* * *

Hey guys, I don't know about you but I really like this chapter. Any comments or concerns?

Over and out,

Actionhero1


	5. Chapter 5

Edward had been in a foul mood since my day at the lake with Jasper, I was being buffered from his mystifying temper tantrum by Alice. She was usually occupied with talking to Carlisle and Jasper and I could tell that with her running interference between Edward and me, it was interrupting her daily schedule. I tried to convince her I would be fine without her new habit of whisking me away whenever Edward and I seemed close to coming to blows, but she steadfastly waved me off.

I had asked her why Edward was being such a grouch; her response came in the form of a small snicker and a gravity defying eye-roll.

"Edward is such an obstinate fool sometimes." She sighed as she picked up a clear coat of nail polish. This was my third pedicure this week, and today's color was a pearlescent pink that made my toes look as pale as Alice's. I thought it looked ridiculous but I said nothing, not wanting to seem unappreciative.

She looked up at me, her face full of earnest vindication, " Edward doesn't understand that you and Jasper need to get along before you change, If you don't it's going to be difficult for the family when you keep trying to tear each other's heads off at every possible opportunity."

"Jasper and I would get along just fine." I protested, his playful shudder as he explained his need for socks while swimming fresh on my mind as I argued.

Alice leveled me with a flat look, "Jasper has a bad habit of pushing buttons and as a newborn your temper is going to flare at the smallest of things, coupled with Jaspers penchant to burn first ask questions later attitude it will cause chaos."

I exhaled loudly as the picture she painted made more sense.

"What about Edward, why is he so against the whole idea?"

Alice shrugged lightly, "Edward feels like Jasper is too dangerous for you to be around, plus they've never gotten along." Her brows furrowing as she added tiny little flowers at the corner of my toes.

"Especially with what happened in Seattle." She muttered.

I faltered at that, Jasper's scathing look at Edward when he had decided they would handle the situation in Seattle themselves skidded to the forefront of my mind.

"What happened in Seattle anyway?" I asked, trying to sound casual but the burning curiosity was evident in my voice.

She gave a light laugh, shrugging off my question but her posture was stiff, "There was rogue vampire who went crazy, we handled it but Edward had run into that same vampire earlier and let her go when he should have handled it since she had just lost her mate. Jasper gave him hell for it when he found out." She paused to gather her pedicure supplies, "We lose almost all rationality and will to live if we lose our mate, she was being careless and had to be put down as consequence, but it was what she wanted in a twisted way."

I stared at the floor, feeling almost detached. All those deaths in Seattle were in a way Edward's fault. If he had simply put her out of her misery there, then all those people who were killed would still be alive. Here Alice had spoken about it as if it were a mere inconvenience, like it was a mild freaking irritation that was now finally behind them, while those poor families mourned their loved ones. Who were lost to them forever.

The Cullen's had seemed so noble to me when they had decided to risk themselves to try and stop the rapidly escalating deaths. But they hadn't done anything; they followed the news, discussed options, but hadn't done shit till Jasper's stern voice ordered them into action.

And they had known the whole time.

I felt sick, a hot red ball of anger burned in my stomach.

Bastards; the lot of them.

I stood up, tears pooling in my eyes with the amount of sheer rage that was trapped in my body. I wanted to shake them for not mourning the lives that died in their negligence.

I turned and ran.

Out Alice's room, out of the house, and nearly out of my mind.

I passed my truck and headed for the forest, anger and frustration pushing me further and further until I finally collapsed, too drained to move. I laid there for who knows how long.

It was late into the evening when Jasper slid into my peripherals, he made no move to speak, he just stood there.

"Go away." I whispered. I was emotionally, mentally, physically spent and exhaustion gripped at me fiercely. I was in no condition to deal with him right now.

He of course ignored me. Typical.

He lay down next to me, staring at the sunset tinted clouds. He was quiet for so long I had forgotten he was even there.

"You're an idiot." He said, "You always ask all the wrong questions,"

I couldn't help it, to hear that uttered so simply after the emotional turmoil of today, something cracked.

Peals of hysterical laughter broke through my lips, I laughed till it hurt to even breathe. Tears prickled at the back of my eyes but I stubbornly refused to let them fall. Instead I looked over at an indolent as ever blond haired menace.

His expression was soft in the muted light. But his eyes were not.

"It doesn't take eight of us to find and kill one unhinged vampire."

I stared at him uncomprehendingly.

His scoffed in disgust at my stumped expression, "A small skilled group of vampires could take out a large untrained group of vampires relatively easily, now think about it. Alice never said that Victoria had killed all those people, you assumed just like the public that they were all murdered."

He shifted closer, his stare intense as he tried to get me to realize some thing, "Think back to the night Edward made those weak excuses for the little comment I made regarding how he smelled, what did he say about me?" He questioned.

I still unsure of what he was trying to get at, snippets of the conversation floated past me.

" _Jasper was turned in place not many of our kind survive_."

"The _smell you asked about is from the smoke that lingers after a vampire is killed_."

Jasper sensed my tangled thoughts, "why would they allow me to make the decision to go to Seattle for them?" He urged, "Why would that situation pertain to me?"

Then it hit me, "…., _he was created to kill and destroy young vampires_."

"She wasn't just killing them, she was changing them…" I whispered, horrified.

I looked at Jasper, my gaze frantic with the revelation and all the questions it posed.

"Why was she changing, how many did she…, how did they…?" My unfinished questions ran into each other as I tried to guess just what Jasper meant for me to understand from all that he had revealed.

He remained mute as I pleaded with him to help me understand.

"Jasper…why?."

He looked away, his expression bitter.

"Because I never asked the right questions either." a nasty smile unraveled on his lips, "now I'm neither dead nor free. I'm stuck in my own promises and hazy haphazard attempts at hopefulness."

* * *

Well guys, here are at another chapter. Tell me what you think.

Over and out,

Actionhero1


	6. Chapter 6

Disconcerting revelations and whispered confessions threatened to drown me. It felt like left was right and right was wrong these days. Two plus two still equaled four but I was hesitant to let the obvious answers become my facts.

I was constantly checking over my shoulders, trying to gather a decent explanation for all the distractions, misdirection, and heavy silences I was noticing these days. Had they always been there or was I just grasping at shadows?

Maybe it was just paranoia.

Maybe this was Jasper's idea of a cruel joke.

Or there really was more to the family than I realized.

Scratch that, I had known a while ago something was off, I was just happy to close my eyes and ignore it. Not anymore.

Jasper had pried my eyes open; He had been right of course, I had been acting like a well-worn carpet. No opinions of my own, no thoughts other than of Edward, and no wants other than to please his family.

I was a sorry sap without a spine.

Jasper had vanished after dumping his hushed resentments and scandalous admissions on my lap that day, leaving me to flounder uselessly.

He also left me to solve the predicament of how I would find my way back in the dark.

I had dug myself into this mess and now I should have been able to get myself out. I knew if I waited long enough Edward would have eventually found me, but the mere idea of waiting around like a maiden in distress rebelled inside me.

As I looked up at the sky in irritation, I was reminded of the summers with Charlie when I was younger, he had woken me up at two in the morning one night, shuffling me into the curser, with a tassel box and fishing rod in hand.

Charlie was hoping to find a particular type of fish that swam up river to spawn; he had said that the best time of day to catch them was early in the morning.

It was dark but Charlie had navigated easily through difficult terrain, glancing up at the sky more often than his compass. When I had asked why, he pointed to the up to specific star that shined the brightest, "That's the North Star." His finger moved slightly to the left, "If you can find the North Star then you can find the Big Dipper." Charlie went full Boy Scout on me that day and I had loved it, taking it all in with wide eyed curiosity and a childish sense of adventure

Two hours later, I came stumbling out of the thick foliage surrounding the Cullen property feeling proud and accomplished, I realized quite quickly that I had forgotten what is was to strive to become stronger, meeting life head on instead of hiding behind the vampires that dictated my life .

Emmett was sitting on the bed of my truck, looking at me with a small mystified smile. "I thought I was gonna have to sweep in and rescue the day, but you managed just fine."

There was more to his words and we both knew it, I gave him a blinding smile in agreement. I hadn't let myself become weak today in the face of difficulty, I didn't turn docile like I usually did, expecting Edward or the family to ride in and handle it for me.

Emmett gave a me a once over with no small amount of amusement, I knew I must have look half wild, my jeans were torn and muddied, my cheeks were flushed from exertion, and I felt the small leaves and twigs stuck in my hair.

When he looked into my bright eyes his expression sobered. He nodded meaningfully at the house, "Be careful Bella, you're a good girl and deserve so much but be wary. Time distorts things and eventually fades with time, not everything they deicide is necessarily best for you."

I looked at him, his eyes were heavy and they reflected his age even when his youthful face did not. I understood right then that he had heard my conversation with Jasper and was issuing a warning of his own.

I wanted answers, but at what cost. I still loved Edward with every fiber of my being and the family as well, I just wasn't happy with how they treated me.

* * *

When Jasper came back a week later, he was tense and kept glancing at me with thinly veiled interest. I couldn't understand this out of character behavior; he usually outright ignored me or cut me open and spread everything bluntly for me to see. He didn't tiptoe and shoot me furtive looks.

I was in the kitchen when Jasper had walked back in again for some inane thing, last time it was a rubber band the time before that it was a knife, this time it was a marker. I could feel his stare as I riffled through the cabinets looking for a bowl that didn't look like a 19th century priceless museum worthy work of art.

Irritated at his pussyfooting, I spun around and glared at him. "What do you want." I asked crabbily.

He paused, shifting on his feet, he opened his mouth to speak but glanced at the living room where the rest of the family sat and entertained themselves, before shaking his head.

I frowned, whatever he wanted to ask, he couldn't say in front of the family. I wanted to close my eyes and forget about Jasper but the conversation we held a week earlier in the quiet of the forest still weighed on me heavily.

"Edward," I called out looking straight at Jasper, "I'm going home now, tomorrow's a school day and I haven't finished my calculus homework yet."

Edward appeared at my side, "You're right, we should go, Charlie's going to be home soon." I repressed the urge to roll my eyes. Everything was 'We' with Edward; he practically breathed the same air as me as much as he hovered.

"You should stay, I promised Charlie some father- daughter time tonight with his favorite fish fry." I lied easily. A shiver of unease went down my back at the realization of how much I had perfected the craft in my short time with the Cullen's.

 _I used to hate lying_ , I thought resentfully

Edward hummed bleakly, letting me know how much he liked my casual dismissal.

"I'll go get your jacket." He mumbled.

I didn't bother trying to hide irritated huff as he left, when I looked back at Jasper I caught a small smirk curled at his lips before it disappeared completely, leaving his usual cool attitude in its place. Looking into his eyes, I nodded meaningfully at the front door, hoping he would understand what I was trying to say.

I didn't look back as I walked out with Edward's arms around me but I could feel his heavy stare on my back.

I drove out aimlessly before finding a small turn off that looked promising and settled myself in to wait for Jasper. I would give him an hour before I went home if he didn't show. If he did show up then I wanted some straight answers, not his usual cryptic bullshit that left me reeling for days.

I didn't have to wait long before the passenger side door opened and the man of the hour slid in. I refused to look at him, knowing as always he would have some depressing observation on how stupidly I lived my life as his greeting, because a simple hello wouldn't suffice.

"Emmett thinks you've changed," he said, raising my hope that we could have decent conversation for once, "I still think you act like Edward's puppy."

 _And there it went_ , I thought moodily.

I refused to acknowledge him, staring at my steering wheel was better than admitting he was right. I had tried asserting myself more this past week but my attempts were pathetic and short lived.

"You didn't run back and tattle on me to Alice or Edward" he said finally, genuine curiosity leaked from his usual monotone way of speaking. So that was what had been bothering him.

My mood soured, had he really thought so low of me? That I was nothing more than Edward's puppet. I looked over at him sharply, before realizing that yes; he truly thought I was nothing more than Edward's obedient little puppy.

"You told me that in confidence, I wouldn't just run off and tell them what you said."

Jasper and I sat in silence; I could practically taste the curiosity that rolled off him.

"Just ask, Jasper," I said tiredly, I felt completely drained with the realization that I truly had no true sense of self other than "Edward's Girlfriend".

"Why do you stay with him if he makes you so unhappy?"

I chuckled dismally, "I make myself unhappy, he doesn't do anything that I don't let him." I sighed, "And I love him."

He let out a derisive snort at my answer. "No, both of you are infatuated with the _idea_ of being in love with each other."

"I'm not going to discuss my relationship with Edward especially with the likes of you Jasper." I snarled.

His head tilted head at my nasty tone, "Why am I the only one you ever show attitude to?" he asked.

My head spun with his rapid changes in topics.

"Because you're an asshole." I snipped.

He laughed.

"True, but Rosalie says meaner things than I do and you don't call her a bitch."

I snorted, not out loud I didn't.

The truth was that Rosalie never said anything that made me open my eyes and see the painful truth of what I had become. Weak-minded, silly and a whisper of the girl I used to be.

Jasper seemed to understand my thoughts, "You're woefully unprepared for a life as a vampire, and I want you to understand that becuse when you change you won't be able to hide behind the family."

"They'll take care of me" I protested.

Jasper shook his head, "Just like they took such great care of the people in Seattle." He said scathingly.

I wavered, Alice's blasé disregard for the carnage that befell the public in Seattle echoed in my ears.

"What actually happened in with that vampire, Victoria?" I asked hesitantly, stumbling over her name; it was hard to imagine such monsters existed especially with how gentle the Cullens were.

Jasper looked at me for a minute, deliberating with himself.

"It was a recruitment pitch gone wrong," he said slowly, "I was out in the Midwest, when the family met up with a group of nomads that had come down from Denali, interested in meeting more "vegetarian" vampires. One of them caught your sent on Edward and was more interested in you than the Cullen's standard offer of bunnies."

"His name was James and he was what we call a tracker, hunting down prey are their favorite past times and Edward had offered up the best game, Six vampires protecting a mouthwatering human at an undisclosed location. He hit the lottery as far as entertainment went."

"Edward freaked out and attacked, James and one other were killed but Victoria got away, or rather Edward let her get away."

"If I had been there I would have demanded we track her down and destroy her, those that have lost their mates are the most dangerous." He spoke softly, lost in some fog of distant memoires.

"Edward called off the search for her, thinking she would eventually come back for revenge and they would be more than ready to take her on. She disappeared for a few weeks, resurfacing in Seattle with the novel idea that she would create an army of vampires to take out the Cullen's for her."

I looked up at him, hearing the amusement in his voice. "How the hell is this funny?"

He looked at me, his eyes dead. "The Cullen's are highly respected, and powerful in their own right, many of our kind wouldn't bat an eyelash if they called on their help. She had lost the moment she decided to try and take them out."

Something occurred to me as I watched him turn cold at the mention of the Cullens, "Jasper, why do stay with them?"

He was almost never there most of the time and he seemed to hold a bitter resentment whenever he spoke about them.

He shrugged, "No solder's paid to kick against his powers"

That line struck a chord with me, I had heard it somewhere before.

He spoke again, faint amusement coloring his tone, "My past causes me a lot of grief, I'm not the most liked vampire there is and the Cullen's presence dissuades others from coming after me."

He seemed to be about to say something else when his phone rang, startling the both of us, I became aware of how close I had gravitated toward him, a blush rushing to my cheeks.

Without pausing to say goodbye he exited my truck and disappeared.

* * *

Oh gosh guys thanks for all the reviews and support. Special shout out to Apine, xxxbulletxxx, trutwilightfantasy, and cathy29jes for asking 'All the right questions'

An extra special kudos if you can tell me what Jasper's line is a quote from.

Over and out,

Actionhero1


	7. Chapter 7

Jasper had predictably pulled the vanishing act after once again giving me a quick peak behind the curtains. As always it left me with more questions than answers, this time though I was more interested in why Jasper stayed with the Cullen's. I didn't necessarily buy the fact that he stayed for his own protection.

I was only somewhat knowledgeable about Jasper's violent past; I knew he had been turned during the civil war by a power hungry vampire named Maria. I knew she used Jasper's military training and unique power over other's emotions to build an army of newborn vampires and took control a large portion of the south. I knew he left, but that was it.

I didn't why he left when he did.

I didn't know how he had met the Cullen's.

I didn't know why resentment dripped from every word when he spoke about the Cullen's.

I literally knew nothing about him other than the fact he was the only one who bothered to be honest with me. Sure he was cryptic as hell, but I felt it came from necessity rather than a perverse joy to see me struggle to understand all that he showed me.

So here I was under Edward's stifling, watchful gaze, as I sat with Emmett playing a game of Life, trying to figure out how to get some alone time with Jasper and beat all the unanswered questions I had from him.

This new dialogue between Emmett and I was fairly recent, it had started the night Jasper had begun showing me that not everything in the Cullen household was as it seemed. Emmett had further backed him up but going one step further and urged me to be cautious.

Any smart girl would have taken off a while ago, but I had a taste for the dangerous things in life and shady vampire families were as dangerous as it got.

Emmett cursed as he rolled an eight and got saddled with twins, adding to his numerous amount of children already, "I don't have any more room in my car, that means I don't have to take them. Give me the dice I'm going to roll again."

I laughed and clutched the dice to my chest, "No way they're your children now, get another car and stick them on there."

Emmett grumbled but complied, I was about to roll again when I saw Edward's head snap to the top of the stairs where Alice stood, her face blank. Whatever the vision was it disturbed them both but they glanced at me and nodded to each other.

Oh goody, more secrets.

Edward caught Emmett's eye, before heading into Carlisle study followed by Alice.

I sighed quietly; I looked up at Emmett hoping he would explain what was happening but all he gave me was a frown and a small shake of head. Emmett would be of no help, and the only other person in this family who told me anything was hiding out somewhere east of here.

Hours passed by and one by one the family trickled into the study, their bodies tense and faces anxious, Emmett was stuck in the living room babysitting, but I could tell he was listening with his ear cocked in the direction the study was.

Jasper arrived sometime after eight, almost a full ten hours since Edward and Alice had disappeared into the study with Carlisle. He didn't immediately ignore me and run into the study like everyone else had. He walked over to the couch where I sat and plopped down on the other side, kicked off his shoes and laid across it, resting his sock covered feet on my lap and closed his eyes.

I sat stiffly, unsure of what to do, I looked up at Emmett hoping for a clue but he was staring wide-eyed as us and looked twice as bewildered then I did.

I gave a light shrug, and decided to just go with it, the tension in his body had reminded me of the day at the lake where he looked so old and tired. Like an old man with too many demons on his back and so many more to face in the horizon.

The super-secret meeting had gone on for another hour before Jasper finally stirred. I knew vampires couldn't sleep but Jasper has seemed pretty out of it, it was the only reason I had relaxed and taken to watching the movie playing on the TV. In my distraction I had rested my hand on his leg, absently running rhythmic circles around his angle bone; it was when he had shifted that I had realized what I had been doing. Mortified I snatched back my hand and looked anywhere but at him, hoping the couch would swallow me whole.

Jasper stood slowly, ruffling my hair as he walked by, a small laugh on his lips, most likely from my strong sense embarrassment.

Indignation rose up overtaking any other emotion and I flipped him the bird thinking his back would be turned, I had forgotten about the numerous mirrors that decorated the walls.

He laughed harder.

I flopped down face first onto the couch and groaned in renewed embarrassment.

Somewhere along the way Alice had called Charlie and talked him into letting me stay the weekend. I wanted to know since when had Charlie's parenting begun being dictated by Alice as well.

Irritation bubbled as the family flitted around, packing suitcases and making arrangements. Apparently something urgent had come up and they were off to Egypt to settle it. What they planned to do in Egypt where the sun almost always shined I wasn't sure.

The only people who weren't packing were Jasper and Emmett. I guess they would be my official babysitters.

Edward finally remembered I existed as they got ready to leave for the airport, He bent down to give me a quick kiss on the lips and whispered a flimsy apology, saying that someone they knew was in trouble and Carlisle felt it was their duty to help. And that they would be back in two weeks.

I didn't particularly care anymore, I wasn't even sure I wanted them to come back anymore. Jasper's taunts of how little I meant to the family were replaying in my mind as I watched them drive off with no goodbyes or reasonable explanations, just the expectation that I would be here when they got back and listen to everything they told me to do.

They could go to hell.

I looked back at Jasper who was ignoring Emmett as he spoke angrily at him. He was watching me with a vague expression of approval in his eyes. I tilted my head toward the forest, urging him to understand.

With a tilt of his head he nodded, I smiled back at him and walked out onto the porch to wait.

Jasper came out a little while later, and held out his palm to take. I took it without any hesitation; he swept me up and took me to the one place he went when the house felt too oppressive. And for the first time I understood how he felt as we stood by the lake and took in the quite night.

I took off my shirt and jeans, taking a running leap and jumped into the cold water wanting to wash myself from that place and all that it stood for. I promised myself in that moment to become more like Jasper. Strong, proud, and self-reliant, but unlike him I wouldn't stay under the shadow of the Cullen's.

I would take him with me because it felt like we were kindred spirits, and I couldn't in good conscious leave him to the whims of the family.


	8. Chapter 8

Jasper sat on the bank of the lake, looking over to where I was floating aimlessly.

"Aren't you curious of what's in Egypt?"

"Nope."

"You should be," he laughed, "If things don't work out over there it's your pretty little neck on the line."

I swam up to him, "What do you mean by that."

The smile he gave me wasn't pleasant, "If the Volturi get involved like the Cullen's fear, Aro will demand that they offer up their hand so he can see what all the naughty things they've been up to."

He tapped me on the nose, "That includes you princess."

"Because you're not supposed to tell anyone what you are?"

"That and the fact that they found themselves a shield who happens to be cute as a button." Jasper said as he took off his shirt.

I was momentarily overwhelmed and I could get back to the matter at hand with as much grace as I could muster.

" uh..What?"

 _Real smooth Bella_

There was a splash as he dived in, resurfacing minutes later. "You keep Edward out of your head without trying, even if you're only human that's impressive."

"That doesn't mean anything other than I'm just weird."

"Yes, but Carlisle has a theory that you can keep _everyone_ out of your head," he explained. "Most of our kinds extra abilities stem from the mind, take Jane for example, Aro's favorite sycophant can cause unimaginable pain, but the pain is all in the head, she doesn't physically do anything, the same goes for her twin wonder. He causes total sensory deprivation but it's all in the head too."

"Now as you know, our venom brings out the most useful and strongest traits during the transformation, that's how Alice can see the future, Edward can read minds and I can sense and influence emotions."

"Imagine a vampire, who even as a human, had a strong enough shield to keep out a mind reading vampire without any effort on her part, she'd be immune to nearly eighty-five percent of the gifted vampires out there, most of which are located in the ranks of the Volturi, oh so conveniently."

Jasper shrugged condescendingly, "Now I may be wrong but I don't think Aro would very much like a human, nor less a vampire, who had the capability to destroy his empire if she ever had the inclination to."

"What are you getting at Jasper?"

"Nothing, mere speculation on my part." He said.

I sighed, clearly exasperated with his antics. Jasper, obviously picking up my mood smiled sweetly at me.

* * *

We were laying on the rug in the living room post lake adventure, because Jasper didn't have a room in the Cullen household when I asked why he shrugged it off, saying he didn't sleep and he was never here for more than a couple of hours so there was never a need for one.

That brought out another question of where he went when he wasn't with the Cullen's. Jasper laughed and ruffled my hair, saying he would love to show me but only after I was changed.

Feeling the shift in my emotions, he sat up and looked down at me, "You know you can't stay human." He said softly.

I lashed out, I had thought that out of everyone he would encourage me to make my own decisions, "I can do whatever the hell I want, it's my life."

He shook his head angrily, "Yes, but it's also our lives too. If they found out we told you and then let you go we would be sentenced to death, whether it's tomorrow or a hundred years from now."

"The rules are straight forward Bella; we either kill you or change you." He said coldly.

I wanted to scream and rage at him, but I knew he was right, no matter what I thought of the Cullen's I couldn't sentence them to death, plus I knew that I could have never lived a mundane life with the knowledge of vampires.

I could feel the pinpricks behind my eyes letting me know I was dangerously close to a round of waterworks.

Jasper could feel it too, but he understood the reason behind it, "There are other ways of having your independence from the Cullen family."

I shook my head, I knew that eventually I would lose myself and turn into the well-worn carpet I had been. I threaded my fingers with Jasper trying to find an anchor before my fear and insecurities swept me away.

He looked down at our hands, something clouding behind his eyes.

"I'm not the hero of your story Bella; don't draw me into the role of the good guy."

I snorted, "I'm done looking for a prince charming, but you can be my sidekick."

Poking his ribs, I whispered, "I'll even let you ride in the side cart of my awesome motorcycle."

He rolled his eyes and damn if it wasn't the cutest thing ever.

I could see it now, the wacky adventures of Bella and Jasper, and with that thought I drifted off to sleep, feeling Jasper hand in mine.

* * *

Sorry guys i know its shorter than my already short chapters but it was needed before I could go on with the show. Apine and Cathy29jes you guys are flippin awesome with the indepth reviews on every chapter.

Leave me some love, because reviews are always welcome.

over and out,

Actionhero1


	9. Chapter 9

This chapter is one of the reasons that this story is Rated M. So please beware.

* * *

"Are you sure they'll let me in?"

He looked over at me as we neared the entrance of the club, "When in doubt," he said, tugging on a lock of my hair, "hike up your skirt and pull down your shirt."

I smacked his hand away. Charlie would kill me if he ever found out about this and I was an idiot to let Jasper talk me into this. His smile had been far too attractive and had short circuited my brain as I attempted to find an excuse of why I couldn't go.

He ignored the long line in front of the club, flashing the bouncer his I.D and slipping him a hundred with practiced ease. When it was my turn, Jasper nodded his head at me and said "She's with me."

Huh. That was easier than I expected.

Jasper had his arm around my shoulder as we entered the club, chest pounding music and multicolored lights all around us. He leaned down and put his lips near my ear, "This is my favorite place to hunt, every bodies too drunk or horny and distracted to remember anything. Look over at the bar, did you see that guy with the black polo spike that that girl's drink? It would be so easy for me to take both of them and disappear."

He steered us toward the suave son of a bitch that was talking up the obviously drunk girl who was 15 years too young for him, "It would be simple to stage a rape gone wrong, I would take out the guy first then have some fun with the girl and she would die a blissful death while I buried my teeth in her neck."

I struggled to get out of his bruising grip around my shoulders, desperate to rip that poor girl away from both of these sick bastards and run like hell.

Jasper pushed us closer, sliding his arm from my shoulder to my waist with what I realized with fear came from practice, to keep the girl from running or making a scene as he dragged her away and had his fucked up ways with her.

I stood stiffly as his fingers dug into my side, an obvious warning, "Hey I'm Jasper and this is girlfriend Bella." He said nodding at me, a dazzlingly smile on his lips, "mind if we join you?"

The giggling blonde nodded enthusiastically and the dick with the polo agreed easily, eyeing me with dark interest. I burrowed into Jasper's side before recoiling immediately, remembering his twisted plan.

Jasper engaged them easily with simple conversation, and I stood by his side screaming bloody murder in my head.

This was crazy; this was too fucked up in a thousand different ways. As much as I hated the man in front of me for planning to rape the tittering idiot who was hanging off of Jasper's arm I couldn't condone his death especially the girls, she was innocent in all this bullshit. The man should spend his life rotting in Jail not in an unmarked grave somewhere in the forest.

Something Jasper said brought me back to the conversation, "Bella and I are always up to trying new things, wanna come back to our place for some more drinks?"

The guy's eyebrow rose into his hairline, I caught him watching Jasper's obvious flirting with the blonde and he looked over at me with lusty appreciation, I felt his hand graze my thigh as he spoke to Jasper, "Sure, sounds like my kind of party." He looked over at me and winked.

I almost laughed, the idiot had no idea how perfectly Jasper had orchestra their death and here he was trying to flirt with me.

I felt sick, I mumbled an excuse and fled to the bathroom, empting my stomach in the closest stall I could find, groaning I turned to the sink and washed my mouth out. As I patted my mouth dry I heard someone enter the bathroom. I turned around to find the man from earlier smiling in my direction, "Waiting for me sweetheart?"

I stumbled back, unsure of what to do.

He advanced forward, grabbing my wrist as I try to dodge past him. He grabbed my waist and dragged me into a stall before locking it. Almost falling into the toilet as I scrambled to get away from him I opened my mouth to scream. He clamped his hand over my mouth, pushing me up against the stall with his body and trapping me there. His free hand roaming over my chest and disappearing under my skirt, dragging my underwear down to my knees before flying to undue his belt. I thrashed and cried under his heavy hold, calling out for Jasper and desperate to be saved from this nightmare.

He had himself free from his pants and was rubbing furiously on it when the stall door was ripped off at its hinges, and there stood Jasper. His eyes black and a growl rumbling in his throat. His lips pulled back in a snarl.

But he never looked so beautiful to me as he did in that moment.

Jasper grabbed him by the hair, his protests cut off as Jasper slammed his head into the wall.

Relatedly.

Then he crushed his throat with his bare hands.

And everything was silent.

That man was dead and Jasper had killed him. He made it look so easy, as though he had been tossing a doll around. And now that doll lay crumpled on the ground with his eyes wide open and his dick still out.

I turned around and dry heaved into the toilet.

I felt Jasper's cool hand brush over my clammy forehead and weakly tried to fight him off before falling weakly into his hands.

He sat me on the toilet, took the body and flitted out faster than I could make out. He came back moments later and whisked us out faster than could be followed with human eyes and settled me into the passenger side of Edward's Austin Martin Vanquish.

He drove out slowly, and drove sedately back to Forks.

Something occurred to me as we drove back in heavy silence, "Jasper" I called, "Is the body in the trunk?" I asked quietly.

Jasper hesitated and then nodded slowly.

Here I was the Chief of Police's daughter riding in her boyfriend's car, with her boyfriend's brother and a dead body in the trunk.

I couldn't swallow the giggle the escaped me.

"Edward was going to be apocalyptic if we ruined his favorite car." I said to Jasper.

A smile tugged at his lips but he shrugged nonchalantly, "The smell usually only stays for a week, and this one's fresh so it won't be that bad."

"Would he notice if we sprayed Febreze in it?"

Jasper laughed, "Can't hurt to try."

I hummed in agreement. Another thought bouncing in my head.

"How come you didn't eat him?"

Jasper looked sideways at me, "I don't _eat_ people Bella, humans gross. You're only redeeming quality as a species is the taste of your blood." He took playful sniff at me.

I laughed, "Edward says I smell fantastic, too bad you'll never get a nibble." I teased.

And then my smile died a horrible death on my lips as my situation came crashing down on me. I couldn't just sit here and giggle with Jasper when not even an hour ago I saw him kill a man right in front of me without an iota of remorse. Did he deserve it? I couldn't say because I didn't want be victim, judge, jury and executioner. It just wasn't my place.

I looked over at Jasper and realized one life or hundreds it didn't really matter, we were all inconsequential to them. Vampires were gods in their own right, no rules but their own applied to them. Kill or not kill, it was all up to them and we were the unsuspecting mortals as they found entertainment in pain and struggles.

What was humanity when you were your own god?

And I looked back over to what Emmett had said, _"Time distorts things and eventually fades with time, not everything they deicide is necessarily best for you."_

The Cullen's had come down from their place in the high heavens and had seen fit to meddle with my life, Edward had played god when he saved me from Tyler's van. He had altered the course of my life. Maybe I was destined to die right there and then. Who knew?

All I knew was that now I had no other choice but become a vampire, my only option was to be permanently silenced and take their secret to my grave.

That I could live with, no matter what they seemed like, they would have my loyalty. I knew they took a risk trusting me with their biggest secret. I just couldn't accept I would become so callous like them, would I even be me after I changed or would I be forever burning for blood and have a complete disregard for human life. Sure, they fed off of animals but that didn't make them better than human drinkers, they just couldn't stomach living with what they were, and made it easier for themselves under the guise that they truly cared about people when they treated them like nothing but passing clouds in their never-ending days. We were just landscape to them. Fixtures in their everyday life.

What use was I other than passing entertainment?

A unique little gem that wasn't scarred of them and was immune to Edward's gift.

"Does Edward really love me, Jasper?" I asked, my voice hoarse from overwhelming emotions.

He looked over to me, and rolled his eyes, "You and I both know the answer to that."

I hated his flippant attitude but he had a point, "Why did he pretend then?"

He ran his fingers through his hair, "He didn't, he was just more enamored with your epic love story then, well, _you_."

"The only mind silent to him as he struggled with his thirst and interest for you, saving you from the dangers of our world and prevailing as the victor with you his queen, and living the rest of his existence in blissful peace and power."

I cringed and Jasper saw, he laughed and ruffled my hair like he always did when I did something to amuse him, I thought it was cute at first but I was feeling more and more like an show dog that had performed a new trick. I shoved his hand away, and glared at him.

"And where does that leave you, the aimless kicked puppy that you are, you must have some plans other than being the Cullen's bitch for the rest of your existence."

Jasper, fisted his fingers into my hair, pulling on them painfully, "If everything works out, you and every other miserable member of that family will be nothing but ashes."

* * *

Things are heating up

Any questions or comments let me know,

Over and out.

Actionhero1


	10. Chapter 10

I was muddy, exhausted, and terrified. And I still wasn't sure if I was in someone else's nightmare or just tripping badly on something, someone might have slipped into my drink. Because I refused to believe my life had become this screwed up in a matter of hours.

I stood in a four foot deep; six foot long hole leaning on the collapsible shovel Jasper had magically pulled out of his ass. The horrifying alternative was that every car the Cullen's owned was fully equipped with an emergency 'Hide A body' kit.

Jasper was in his words, being my look out, since I needed the practice of digging graves because I would be doing this a hell of a lot after I turned, and if he had to dig it he might give into temptation and stash my body alongside the already dead guy in the trunk. I hated him so much I felt like I would shatter into a tiny million pieces.

I looked up as I felt his shadow loom over me, "Needs to be deeper." He said, a sick, amused smile sitting easily on his lips, "Or animals are going to dig it up later when it starts to rot.

"Then you do it, you pretentious piece of shit."

Jasper tutted, "Language, nena. I don't want Edward to blame me for your potty mouth."

"Yeah? Just you wait till Edward hears about this." Oh hell, I sounded like a freaking child and Jasper's patronizing smile reminded me how much of a well-trained puppy I truly really was.

Fuck.

I stuck between a ruthless killer and my shaky sense of independence. Who could I turn too, I didn't trust the Cullens thanks to Jasper anymore, and now I couldn't even trust him.

I thought Jasper was the only one I could trust to lead me right but it was obvious he had plans of his own, and they didn't hinge my survival. I had never felt this alone, so isolated from help. When had I become just a pawn in the ever ruthless games for these immortals? I wasn't as smart or experienced as them but even I could see that the only way to survive was to play dirty and cut-throat, there were no sides but your own, no concept of good and evil. It was a game of power and survival.

I couldn't run fast enough, or far enough before they found me, my best bet was to pull away from Jasper and find sanctuary with the Cullens and bide my time. There was safety in numbers.

I was at a clear disadvantage with my mortality; I either took the cowards way out and absolved myself of any responsibility or I stayed and fought.

Looking up at Jasper's smirk, I wished I was a vampire right in that instant so I could punch his pretty little head off and throw it into into a fire and dance around it, only to piss on his ashes afterwards.

Patronizing son of a bitch.

I turned back to my shallow little grave and dug farther down anyway, Jaspers threat still fresh on my mind.

* * *

I wasn't due home, still Sunday night, I had played hooky with Edward on Friday, the night he left with the rest of the family, and stayed most of the night at the Lake with Jasper till the late hours in the morning, sleeping all the way till noon, where Jasper had convinced me to step out of my shell and just live a little. Now here I was on a cloudy Sunday morning, attempting to shower off the feel of a dead man's grope, while mud and other debris clung to my skin from digging his grave.

I wasn't sure how I was supposed to feel anymore, I felt oddly numb, removed from the whole situation.

Stepping out of the shower, I saw my favorite sweats and shirt laid out on the counter. This stumped me, I was sure they had been in my dresser back at home. Stepping closer a realized, that this was all Jasper, he had gone out of his way and gotten my clothes knowing they would give me a modicum of comfort after a harrowing experience like last night and early this morning.

But why would he do something like that?

That man had me tied up in more knots then I had sense. I hated it and yet there was another part of me, so deep and tucked up in dark a corner that I didn't want to acknowledge that shivered in delight, enthralled with him and all his demented antics.

* * *

Jasper was sitting in the kitchen, a half-formed, little, stone carving of what looked like a bird in his hands. He didn't look up from his sculpting, etching details into the rock with nail of his thumb as I entered. Curiosity drew me forward.

"I used whittle wood as a human, it helped in the long hours between scrimmages and uncertainties, after I was turned, the habit stuck but wood was too fragile in my hands at first, Maria suggested I use stones, but most of them still crumpled to dust in my hands, so it became an exercise in control, I eventually gained enough control to work with wood again, but I prefer stone now."

"The trick is finding the right stone, it can't be too soft because it will crumble at the slightest of pressure, but it can't be too hard either because it'll resist any type of change and crack under the strain eventually."

Jasper looked up from his hands, catching my gaze he gave me a terribly jaded smile, "You and I are kind of like the those perfectly malleable little stones that are so hard to find, nice to shape and mold into whatever you want or need at the moment. Then easy to discard after you've used it and no longer have a reason for it."

I looked at Jasper and felt his heavy melancholy settle around my heart like physical weight, this man right here made me want to stick by his side and rescind every nasty thing I had thought or said about him. He had seen the world burn around him, and lived to bear the scars.

He spoke slowly, as though trying to find a way to convey his tangled thoughts, "Even though last night didn't go as planned, I wanted you to see how we can charm and coerce those around us with natural grace. We are predatory creatures by nature and can spot weakness and vulnerability with laughable ease, how we manipulate it to our advantage is up to the kind of vampire you're dealing with."

His fingers setting down the beautiful little stone bird and moving to my hands that lay on the kitchen counter with a tentative slowness, holding them softly. "I wish you hadn't experienced last night but there's an important lesson in that too, don't ever wait for someone to come for your rescue, most of the time there isn't anyone there. Don't allow any weakness, Bella. True survival is about annihilating those that mean you harm with such thoroughness and cruelty no one ever dare stand against you ever again."

My hand rose against my own accord, softly cupping his face, I searched his shadowed eyes, trying to understand the horrors this man faced and survived. His shoulders were stooped like the weary soldier he was, I could hear it in his voice and every inch of his being, he was on fire. He was burning and as much as I hated him, he spoke to me on a level that no one else did, I couldn't let him suffer.

"I can help Jasper, just tell me how." I pleaded.

I wanted to cut him open, make him spill every last of his secrets and fears, drive away every hurt and immerse myself into this man.

He leaned into my touch, "you've done enough nena, to last a life time. Believe me." He looked into my eyes. "But I can't ask you to do this,"

I shook my head, desperate, "Anything."

Jasper looked at me with fire in his eyes, and violence in his lips.

* * *

Nena: is a Spanish term of endearment.

Yes they pulle and push each other so freaking crazily but this chapter reflects that perfectly, they wanna kill each other on minute and then rip each others clothes off in another.

Any question or comments? let me know

Over and out,

Actionhero1


	11. Chapter 11

I was so close, my eyes flickering between his eyes and lips.

All I had to do was lean in just a bit.

I could the feel the rapid crescendo of want and temptation coursing through my body.

The spell was broken by Jasper slow turn to face Emmett who was watching us with a scowl by the door of the kitchen. Jasper's entire body was vibrating with suppressed violence and his expression was dark and dangerous as he looked at Emmett.

Emmett hesitated but nodded at the phone he held in his hand, the screen open and it was obvious that someone was on the line. "Alice."

Jasper didn't move, no outward sign of reaction but something in the air shifted.

Emmett threw the phone in a neat little arc to Jasper, who caught it expertly. Only to disconnect the call.

Emmett shifted, his shoulders rolling slightly as though to loosen them, like he was preparing for a fight. I blanched, this didn't look good at all. I stepped forward my hand outstretched hoping to calm the situation but a quick glare from Emmett quelled my advance.

His momentary distraction cost him greatly. Jasper sprung at him like a cobra, quick, precise, and deadly. They blurred into rapid movements but it was only a few seconds before, Jasper stood his arm bent at an unnatural angle at the elbow but Emmett's head was held firmly in his other hand.

I looked down at his body, which lay sprawled on the floor, twitching and jerking wildly.

I swallowed heavily, before shifting my attention to Jasper. He was looking at me with a serene little smile on his face.

"You promised _anything_ Bella." He raised Emmett's decapitated head, "Welcome to all that it entails."

I closed my eyes, trying to fight the instinct to run. It wouldn't do me any good. I had handed myself on a silver platter to this man. How many times had I seen how dangerous he was. Hadn't I realized how completely and utterly wicked his plans were. I was an idiot, but what could I do, he was like a black hole, dark, dangerous, and absolutely inescapable as soon as you crossed his sphere of influence.

I felt him rather than saw him walk over to me, there was a sick thud on the kitchen counter before his hand was in my hair, his nails scraping not so gently on my scalp. I shivered, from fear or from desire, I wasn't quite sure. His lips brushed over my forehead, moving gently till they hovered over my ears.

"Open your eyes nena and **see**." I trembled but shook my head vigorously. I couldn't, I just could not face the truth of the matter, how ridiculously naïve I had been. He had lured me in with cool and aloof nature, he had jerked me around, burning and blinding me with his intense dissection of every aspect of my life. He had shamelessly manipulated me away from the family, feeding on my weaknesses and insecurities before ripping the rug from right under me once I pledged myself to him and his twisted plan.

His hand untangled itself from my hair, caressing the side of my face, sliding down to settle on my neck.

And then he squeezed.

My eyes flew open, staring up at him in fear. His eyes blazing with anger.

"Don't you dare shun me like I'm the despicable one, when it's your devotion that's as fleeting as the spring roses, you don't get to paint yourself as the tortured lover here when I told you not trust me. There is no savior here Bella; we're all your villains. But I'm the worst one because I can't get you out of my head, the way you smell, the way you smile, even the way you cry is ingrained into every fucking part of my mind."

His grip still tight as he leaned his forehead on mine, "And despite all that, I'm going to risk your life to free mine, because I'm a selfish creature Bella, and I won't burn. Not even for you nena."

There was a shrill ring on the forgotten phone, he sighed before giving me a lingering kiss on my forehead and removing his hand from my throat.

When he answered the phone his usual detached way of speaking morphed into a saccharinely smug sing-song- voice, "Alice honey, I've got a proposition for you." A menacingly vindictive smile on his lips.

"Run like the spineless little shit you all are and prolong inevitable, or own up and accept your fate."

There was a low murmur as Alice replied, it obviously wasn't what he wanted to hear.

"Bella is mine, and it's my army, it always has been, they don't answer to you." A low growl was heard from the phone.

"I must give credit to where it's due and none of this would have been possible without you. So thank you Alice and I'll see you soon."

I looked over to where he stood, whispers of conversations floating through my mind as I strove to understand what was happening.

"No soldier's paid to kick against his powers." I whispered with realization.

Jasper smiled back knowingly, "We laughed, knowing that better men would come."

The next line flowing easily out of me, "And greater wars; when each proud fighter brags"

Jasper finished the poem effortlessly a full blown grin on his voice, "He wars on Death for lives, not men for flags"

There was a minute where we said nothing just stared at each other, sick understanding in my gaze and amused indifference in his.

"You understand know." He said simply.

"You stayed with Cullen's because of the Volturi, Alice promised salvation from your crimes in the south. But she had her own plans didn't she: living with the Volturi hovering over their shoulders wasn't something they wanted. So she planned a coup D'état with you as her general."

Jasper smirked, "Oh my; what smart girl you are." He carried on filling in what didn't yet know.

"Whispers had started around the same time Maria became resentful and even fearful at my sway over the others in the south, apparently Volturi were coming to clean house soon. I was respected and the other war lords treaded carefully around me, so it was surprising when Arturo began causing trouble at the borders of our territory. Maria ordered me to sort it out with only a third of the army."

"She sold you out?"

"My life in exchange for a full and complete pardon for her crimes in the south and a lifelong guarantee of protection."

"The Volturi had gotten wind of my exploits in the south, they deemed me a threat as they usually do with most vampires they see as useful and planned to offer me a place within their flanks or execute me."

"Peter who had gotten wind of her plan, found me on route to the ambush that was waiting. I was ready to kneel over in a blaze of glory, life had become dreary and I saw this as an opportunity at semblance of peace. Peter offered a completely different way of life and I latched on."

Jasper sighed and closed his eyes, "I grew lax, years of evading them made me cocky."

"I was in Philadelphia, when they cornered me in the back alley behind a dinner, that's when Alice stormed out. She had strange gold eyes, and such a unique emotional signature, so very different from every one of our kind I had ever met."

Something in me twitched sharply at his wistful tone, "You loved her?"

He opened his eyes at my sharp tone, small smile unfurling as he caught the clear jealousy in it.

"I fell in love with what she represented, a peaceful existence with no one to fear, that's was all I ever wanted Bella, nothing more nothing less."

"She vouched for me. Claiming me as part of the Cullen coven and I was under their protection and they would deal with this personally with Aro. Negotiations were traded and after a nearly a century I thought I was finally free."

"Alice turned the minute I was in her clutches, I was reckless. I should have questioned more about their motives but I was blinded with the promise of freedom. She explained I had to earn my freedom, her plan was simple, I would build her an army that would decimate the Volturi and lead them into battle, If I didn't comply she would cry wolf and hand me to Aro's waiting arms and say I had plans of rebellion. If I stayed and complied, I would be free to do whatever I wished after the Cullens were in the place of power."

"There was one fatal flaw in her plan, she didn't have any pawns who could negate Jane and Alec."

He looked over at me with a sardonic twist to his lips.

"Until I came along and jumped head first like an idiot into all of this." I said, white hot anger lancing through my body, at myself, at them and their sick games.

"We waited decades from someone with you talent, and then you breezed right in, sat by Edward in biology, completely silent and ripe for the picking. He rushed to tell Carlisle of the miracle and then to the compound where the army trained. Making grand plans of how we would fake your death and train your gift and finally be free of Aro's tyranny."

"Plans were set and finalized, we would kidnap you and kill Charlie, making look like a burglary gone wrong. A quick rap on the head with Carlisle's guidance would leave your few hours as a human vague and almost non-existent after the change."

"What changed?" I asked

"Alice," Jasper said, nothing short of amusement coloring his voice, "She said you would rebel against this life unless you had something or someone to fight for."

"So Edward came back and gave me a reason, everything was going to plan, why did you try so hard to make me see everything that was supposed to stay hidden?"

Jasper looked down, his shoulder stiff, "Nothing that once said, would make any difference now."

I stared at him, resignation weighing heavily on me, "I hate you Jasper."

* * *

Apine: If you think about it, she isn't digging the grave because she wants to, its fear of Jasper threats that drive her to dig it, and as to why Jasper doesn't do it? Well of course he could have dug the grave in 3.5 seconds but he _ **wants**_ Bella to hate him, he doesn't want to acknowledge the connection between them. Plus if he digs the grave and buries the body while she hides in the car what would she learn? Jasper wants her to understand that the only way to overcome those that mean you harm is to completely destroy them, by making her dig the grave he's showing her that: look this is where he's going to rot and he won't ever be able to harm you again, bury him and bury your fear for you are free of them now. Plus he's a tad bit sadistic but hey, he's still yummy

the poem is from The Next War. by Wilfred Owens

Anyway thanks for all the support you guys!

Any questions or comments? Leave a review.

Over and out,

Actonhero1


	12. Chapter 12

I thought to myself in that very moment that I had never felt more opposing emotions for another being in all my life, simplicity had fled from my life the minute that I had met the golden eyes of the Cullen family. But was worst was that I had cared for them, I had loved them.

Did I at times envy them? Yes, but that was before the rose colored glasses of romanticism were ripped off by the monster that stood in front of me.

Yet, there was a voice deep inside me that whispered his true name, not monster, but _Jasper. My Jasper._

I understood and I in some ways empathized with him, I wanted him to gain his freedom. I was sure enough that if he had come to me and asked I would have laid down everything for him.

Jasper was much like the wind, a casual relentless force that could be as sweet as a gentle breeze on a sunny day or forceful and terrifying, uprooting everything in his path.

His plan was simple and yet the most implausible. In order to gain his freedom he would destroy the ones who were in the way or had the power to deny him, which meant he had to destroy the Volturi, and the Cullens.

He would use me to do it; I was nothing but a pawn in the elaborate games these immortals played.

I had hoped that Jasper and I were kindred souls, forced to sway with the heavy winds of life and circumstance but he had turned out to be much more sinister, I hated that he had hurt me worst then the Cullens, but this despicable man in front of me, held my interest in ways I could never explain.

So as I looked up into his expressionless face and dead eyes, I broke.

I had no way out, I was completely unsure of my future. I had no choice but to surrender.

Jasper felt the exact moment I had submitted, and tutted softly.

"Where did those soft expressions of trust and tender acceptance go nena?" he crooned softly, his expression filled with wicked humor.

I stood silently, my gaze silently tracing the hard edges of his eyes that betrayed him, he knew he broke me and that didn't sit well with him.

I could do nothing but give him a strained and unpleasant smile.

What a mess we were. Tangled and battered from the windswept chaos that Jasper had over his head like a personal slight from the devil himself.

A sick irony that the most destructive being I knew hungered for nothing more than peace, which he would most likely never know.

I was certain that even if Jasper attained his elusive serenity he wouldn't know what to do with it. He had struggled in strife and fire for so long it had imprinted in him in the worst of ways.

He was the very thing he hated.

He had subjugated me; left me bound and gagged, looming over me like a dark and triumphant King.

And still my heart stuttered as I looked at him. He was broken and yet even as his sharp edges cut me, I couldn't find it in myself to let him go.

Jasper could have my life. But I knew that I would take whatever that was left of his wretched heart as I left, and that filled me with nothing but bitter righteousness.

My eyes flickered to headless body on the floor and Jasper followed my gaze, "Are you going to do that to me too," I asked softly, "If I don't follow your every whim?"

Jasper huffed, "I won't be there to supervise during your basic training, so _I_ won't do that, but I highly recommend you be on your best behavior."

"So what, you're just gonna dump me on someone else's lap after all this?" I snapped.

"Well you are fickle little thing, and you jumped from Edwards lap into mine quick enough," he said, "what's one more?"

"Well I guess I'll have to hope whoevers lap I land in next is warmer than yours."

Jasper became ridged, and his expression clouded. He had faltered and I had seen it, I was aching and I wanted him to hurt as I was.

"Anyone would have been better than you Jasper," I bit out. "And maybe when I find him, he won't rip out my heart and laugh while he does it."

Our eyes met and the unsaid words floated between us. _Like you did._

Jasper closed his eyes. The bastard. He couldn't hide from me. "Come on Jasper, don't hide." I tutted. "Be exactly who I know you are."

Jasper still didn't move.

"You still have to throw Emmett's body into the fire, its ill-mannered to just let him lay there in agony and his venom is staining Esme's beautiful wood floor and that's just plain rude."

Jasper huffed out a laugh, "I also have to rip into that pretty little throat of yours till your blood runs dry and the only thing left in you is nothing but my venom."

"Well aren't you a busy boy." I sneered. "Which one would you like to start with first?"

"How about after we're done barbequing Emmett in the backyard, you and I get busy." He said, "We'll have to take off our clothes of course, blood is a bitch to get off clothes and this is my favorite outfit."

He laughed, "Or at least it will be, for this will be the outfit that I killed Isabella Marie Swan in."

He flashed me a brilliant smile. "Now doesn't that sound delectable?"

"Well I hope you savor it." I whispered, "That's the only part of me you'll ever have."

Jasper said nothing.

I turned to the kitchen counter where Emmett's head lay, blinking slowly, his mouth gaping open and shut like a fish out of water.

I picked up his head, cradling it in my arms.

Jasper stood staring, he had that look again. Like a man on fire.

And I couldn't help but smile this time.


	13. Chapter 13

**Jasper POV**

I knew servitude and all of its intricacies, I had taught myself how to remain patient, hide everything behind a blank deferential mask, I could nod and yes ma'am all day long.

Maria had taught me many things, but nothing had prepared me for this.

The most dangerous thing, stood at a modest 5'5, had rosy cheeks and a fire in her eyes that promised a reckoning.

She had come into the house hiding behind Edward looking so meek and diffident, So I was entirely unimpressed with the fact that Alice had indicated that mousy little Isabella Swan could be what we had been looking for.

Edward was convinced he had reeled her in with soft sonnets and whispered affections. She seemed exactly the type to eat that shit up.

Except she hadn't .

She certainly was curious and attracted to him but she was not that soft hearted romantic I pegged her for, my services allowed that to change quite rapidly. Within a month I had her head over heels for Edward.

I might over did it, the poor girl had nearly forgotten her own name by the time I was done with her, but Alice was breathing over my shoulder and I had only so long before Alice would catch wind of what I was up to.

And then something unexpected happened again.

She was breaking down my induced love crazed haze and was seeing more than she was supposed to. Her love for Edward was supposed to blind her to all the lies and misdirection's the family fed her till I was ready to whisk her away from under Alice's nose

She was apparently far more powerful than we first anticipated; I had planned to ease her loyalty away from Edward and the family slowly, but she had completely ruined those plans. Alice was desperate to keep her tied to the family. So they needed somebody new to keep her interested

So, it fell to my shoulders.

And everything went to hell in a neat little hand basket.

She wasn't supposed to be so interesting, so charmingly naïve, so unassuming and open.

She was supposed to be dull, vapid, self-absorbed, little book worm who could be easily led with a leash.

I was wrong to think that I could get in her head and mold her into the little soldier I needed her to be and come out non worse for the wear.

She was did things to me and I liked it.

But if I had learned anything it was how to survive, and survival was in essence an extreme case of selfishness. So I yes ma'am-ed Alice till she grew complacent and tried to keep my distance from that 5'5 recipe for disaster, who had no idea what she did to me.

So I inch by inch repainted the Cullens in a much more sinister light till she placed her misguided trust in me.

I wasn't expecting her to fall for me, and I wasn't ready to accept how much she had come to mean to me.

I had killed thousands, in my search to be free and Bella Swan would have to be just another casualty of war if I wanted to survive and win my freedom.

But in this moment as she looked at me with that hard bitter smile and fire in her eyes with Emmetts head clutched to her chest as she dared me to make a move against her, I waivered again.

Would it all be worth it in the end?

Could I sacrifice everything for this slip of a girl that made the world a little brighter with just her laugh?

I wasn't sure and this indecision burned at me.

"Well Jasper?" She called out.

I was still undecided and the way her mouth glided out my name did me no favors.

The shrill ring of my phone broke our tense standoff.

It was Peter. A sense of dread filled my gut. I sent Peter after the Cullens to make sure everything went well in Egypt with Amun and his most prized member, Benjamin who had disappeared after a fight with his sire taking his mate Tia with him.

Little did the Cullens know that I knew exactly where Benjamin was.

Benjamin was an idealist and it hadn't been that hard to recruit him from his overbearing sire who hid him from the world and its ugly truths.

I answered the phone, and the news was not good.

"They've found his trail and Alice is getting visions of the Volturi. We might have to move up our initial time table. Is she ready yet? We've got a month if we're lucky weeks if we're not."

I glanced at Bella. We were running low on options.

"Move camp to location C3 and begin mock battle scenario 4, I'll finish up business here and meet you down there."

Bella did not look pleased as I turned my attention to her, "What the fucking hell Jasper, is that what this is 'Business'?"

I couldn't help but laugh at her disgruntled tone and our bleak situation.

I was tired and I wanted the girl, but I wanted freedom more.

Mind made up I pulled out a lighter, and threw it toward Emmett's body, I grabbed Bella, pried the head out of her hands, tossed it into the corner of the rapidly spreading fire and flitted out the door.

She screamed bloody murder in my ears.

But I had made my choice and there was no going back.

Hopefully freedom would taste as sweet as I hoped.

* * *

Hey its Actionhero1, so sorry for the long delay.

A big thanks to Jasper100 for the encouragement.

reviews are always welcomed.


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